(Originally written on January 22, 2012)
Yesterday I took my daughter to the ballet. Not just any ballet. The American Ballet Theater. It was, at the risk of sounding high-faluting and hoity toity, transcendent. I was so taken in by the stories they were telling and the clean, pure performance, I was flabbergasted. I couldn't even think of how to describe it. I thought about it before sleeping and I wrote about it in my morning pages, and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I had to call my mom to tell her, I told my poor husband a couple of times, and couldn't figure out WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE FEELINGS I HAD ABOUT THE BALLET! It was driving me kinda crazy!
I read reviews online that outlined the mechanics of the ballet, and the performances, but no one was describing what I had felt while watching and after processing. No one was talking about the STORIES they told, and how you almost forgot you were watching dancers because you were so caught up in the tale. I thought, "Probably it's just me dramatizing the effects of seeing this ballet troupe I've longed to see all my life." Then on Julia Cameron's facebook page came the quote:
"Trust your perception."
Ok. Thanks for giving me permission. I think I will. Now we have that out of the way, what next? I still don't know what to do with these thoughts!
So I went for a walk, because although I haven't read all the way through "Walking in the World" the bits I have read, I have taken to heart, and believe that I could get some clarity just from taking a long, itouch-less walk.
You'll never guess what happened.
I was walking and thinking about this idea of the story telling. How the dancing was so good that you didn't even notice it anymore. ("The play is the thing, Amy!") How when you read a great book, you think "What a great book!" Your first thought is not, "What a great writer!" (Though that is often said, but usually as a result of talking about the story.) Shouldn't that be the aim of any artist? To be good enough at their craft to disappear and let the story do all the talking? And it dawned on me.
God is telling a story.
He is the perfect artist, with the very best story to tell, and if I will just listen to his story, I will find my way back to him. Self-promotion doesn't necessarily seem like an M.O for the Most High, so I'm thinking that he has something he really wants us to hear about. Something so great that the entire earth and its contents is a dance, a novel, a play, a puppet show, a painting of a glorious reality. But a God-breathed dance.
So I can listen, and I may find Him. And I was very happy.