I don't know if that's supposed to be
I think its the first one.
Anyhow. It's apt. I never actually defined that one for myself. I know there's a dictionary definition, but some words are REAL only when you make your own definition. Plus, you don't have to go to the fuss and bother of looking them up, and/or using them in correct context.
I am doing my dadgum ding dong darndest to live in the present. It's not like there isn't stuff to do and enjoy! (there's plenty of stuff to do and NOT enjoy, but that's beside the point.)
There are some problems with this, however.
One problem is that stuff in the future tends to seem so much more consequential than things in the present. Another problem is that time goes by SO FAST. I swear, it was yesterday, like, 10 minutes ago. Case in point. Darling baby nephew Zach is 17 today. That is ridiculous.
When I try to embrace the present, I start to go a little crazy. When I get a minute (forgive me, moment) to reflect, I start counting. Trust me, when I start doing Math, it's a sure sign that screws are loosening.
For example. Zach is 17. I was 17 16 years ago. Bo was born half of that time ago, and in that same time (8 years) I will be 41 and Bo will be 16. (Lord, help us all.) Emma will be 14 which is the age I was when David was born. David is graduating from High School next month. (and has a full basketball scholarship, btw!!! GO DAVE!!!!) When I graduated from High School it was 1993 and I bought my first CD which was the En Vogue single "Free Your Mind." The divas of En Vogue are probably the grandmas of Beyonce and Rhianna and Ciara. Which means that time is moving unaccountably fast and I can pretty much guarantee that I just lost track of it.
By the time I have thought all these things, and done all that horrible adding and subtracting etc..I'm totally exhausted and have to go play a game of pyramid solitare just to recover. It turns out that reflecting is not restorative in many cases for me.
But pyramid solitare?
That's zen, man.