I'm still angry, but thankfulness rushes over
the sharp edges of it,
and is the overwhelming emotion
For most things.
Except the words "heart attack"
Then I'm angry again.
But I remember that pulsation,
pressing against my finger-
so o o o o s l o w,
but under the familiar texture of his skin
stronger than anger,
stronger than the alarmed response
to technology's brazen beeps
and jagged colored lines
blood of my father.